Firsts are monumental. First steps, the first day of school, the first glance of love; they are all held in our memories wrapped in a certain glow. It is the misty light of nostalgia, innocence and joy. After many years without one, I had a first this week. When it came I stood and smiled and did not know what to say. There was no experience to call on, no point of reference to know how to respond. So I just smiled and kept smiling until the pause became awkward.
The check out girl priced my groceries and when she was done she said, "Ma'am, would you like to use your senior discount card today?" As I said there were smiles and awkward silences. "No, not today," I finally said. "Soon, but not yet." The first thing I did when I got into my car was look in the mirror Do I really look that old? Is it my hair, my clothing or my face that prompted that question? The eyes that looked at me from the 2x5 inch mirror were just as brown as when I finished high school. As I drove home the appraisal continued. Yes, life has left its wrinkles, lines and scars, but inside I feel the same. No, that is not true. I don't feel the same. Actually, I feel better!
When I was young, I thought as a child, I loved as a child, and I hardly knew God. But finally, now that I am old many of my childish ways have been put away. Today my Father owns more of my heart than ever before. He has renewed my strength and inside this weathered body I am soaring in the wake of His love. In the parts that count, the parts that will go to heaven and live eternally, I am younger than ever before. I am not growing old, I am growing young. I am growing toward Jesus and He is eternal youth and life. So I thank the Lord for this first, because now I know what He means when He promises to "satisfy me...so that my youth is renewed like the eagle's." (Psalm 103:5)
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