Christmas Eve

In our home, words are often many and sometimes too few, but music speaks most glorious.  As I listened to Christmas songs, I remembered some others.  I share them because they express themes God has planted in my heart.

Thought number one:  I am the greatest sinner and God loves me anyway.
Thought number two:  He is worthy to be praised, loved and worshiped.

Merry Christmas

The Proof is in the - Promise

I love food.  I love eating it, cooking it, and even reading about it.  My grandmother, Mama Julia, loved cooking too.  My grandparents visited us from Florida every summer when I was young and Mama Julia always took charge of the cooking when in our home.  She gave my mother a deserved break.

I remember one warm day helping her prepare a picnic lunch to take to the beach.  When the blankets, towels and food basket were ready and everyone was getting into the car I noticed Mama Julia was not going.
     "Are you going to the beach," I asked?
     "No mijita, (little daughter), everyone will be very hungry when they get back from the beach so I am going to get their supper ready."  I did't know what to do, I loved cooking with my grandmother, but I loved the beach.
     "Mama, I will stay with you and help you cook," I said.
     "Sure, mamita, you can stay with me."

We spent what seemed like hours cooking together that day.  Using my nick name she said,
     "Look, Judy, when you make the beans you must always saute the onion and pepper first. Never add it in afterwards."  Or when stirring the natilla was tiresome, she said,
     "Lets take turns, I'll stir it for five minutes and you stir it for two."  Mama Julia was always teaching me about food.  She told me that if you know what is put into the pot you don't even have to taste it to know if will be good. She disagreed with the old adage the proof is in the pudding.  For her the proof was in the pot.

Through the years I have experimented with recipes. I read cookbooks like literature.  And even though, Mama Julia never used a cookbook, her sentiment that it is what goes into the pot that determines whether it will be a good dish or not, is true.  After years of reading cookbooks, I don't have to actually make a recipe to know if it will be delicious. God has enabled me to read and know what it will taste like.

Once again that principle was brought to my view.  As I claimed a promise today, I remembered, I dont have to taste the results to know that the Lord's answer will yield good fruit.  It is the love and power He has put into the promise that determines the result.

And so with hope and gratitude I claim His promise:
 
"Thus saith the Lord God, Behold I will lift up mine hand to the Gentiles, and set up My standard to the people: and they shall bring thy sons in their arms and thy daughters shall be carried upon their shoulders...and thou shalt know that I am the Lord: for they shall not be ashamed that wait for Me...thus saith the Lord, Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered: for I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, and I will save thy children...I the Lord am thy Savior and thy Redeemer, the mighty One of Jacob." Isaiah 49:22 -26

Something Old, Something New...

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.  Traditions give substance to things already weighted with meaning.

Nana came from China a few months ago to marry my nephew.  For two years they worked in the same Chinese company and grew to know and love each other.  She wanted a completely 100% American style wedding.  At my nephew's request my sister worked to create the event.  Nana had all the American trappings, the perfect white dress, the graceful veil, and tulle covered architecture. Towards the end of the meal the guests began instructing her on the next order of traditional American wedding business; the cutting of the cake.  She sat there smiling while listening as her new family explained that in feeding Christopher the morsel she should be sure to ply some on his face.

When the moment came they cut the cake and tenderly fed each other, then the people encouraged her, "Go ahead Nana, it's ok, you can put some of the cake on his face."  She looked at the head of the family who had just said that and said, "I can't, I love him."  Harmonic sighs filtered through the room.  She had broken the typical American tradition out of love for Chris.  If she had not done it before, she won everyone's heart right then.  It's no wonder, because it is easy to love those that love your loved ones.

Later, I thought about Nana facing the pressure of American tradition and longing to please her new family. In choosing against the crowd she showed her love for Chris. That reminded me of Jesus, the lover of my soul.  He who went against all traditions and expectations to save me. I pray to have even the small courage that Nana had and reject sin's cajoling; saying, "I can't, I love Him."  I will always remember the lesson Nana taught me: it is in choosing against the crowd that we show our love for Christ.

First Time

Firsts are monumental.  First steps, the first day of school, the first glance of love; they are all held in our memories wrapped in a certain glow.  It is the misty light of nostalgia, innocence and joy.  After many years without one, I had a first this week.  When it came I stood and smiled and did not know what to say.  There was no experience to call on, no point of reference to know how to respond.  So I just smiled and kept smiling until the pause became awkward.

The check out girl priced my groceries and when she was done she said, "Ma'am, would you like to use your senior discount card today?"  As I said there were smiles and awkward silences.  "No, not today," I finally said.  "Soon, but not yet."  The first thing I did  when I got into my car was look in the mirror  Do I really look that old? Is it my hair, my clothing or my face that prompted that question?  The eyes that looked at me from the 2x5 inch mirror were just as brown as when I finished high school.  As I drove home the appraisal continued.  Yes, life has left its wrinkles, lines and scars, but inside I feel the same.  No, that is not true.  I don't feel the same.  Actually, I feel better!

When I was young, I thought as a child, I loved as a child, and I hardly knew God.  But finally, now that I am old many of my childish ways have been put away.  Today my Father owns more of my heart than ever before.  He has renewed my strength and inside this weathered body I am soaring in the wake of His love.  In the parts that count, the parts that will go to heaven and live eternally, I am younger than ever before.  I am not growing old, I am growing young.  I am growing toward Jesus and He is eternal youth and life.  So I thank the Lord for this first, because now I know what He means when He promises to "satisfy me...so that my youth is renewed like the eagle's." (Psalm 103:5)

Man Up

A month ago my son came to visit.  He had not been home for about 9 months.  He was such a sight for my sore eyes.  My anticipation was satisfied as he walked in the door.  I hugged him and was overcome with tears.  Tears of happiness at seeing him mingled with tears of sadness at missing my daughter.  It was a strange emotional dualism that took me by surprise.  I thought of God when that happened...

As you know the Bible stories are clues about God.  For example, the story of Abraham offering his son as a sacrifice is an allegory of God offering His only Son as our sacrifice.  Absalom's story is also an allegory.  His story is of the beautiful rebellious son who tried to kill his father.  Sounds just like the devil doesn't it?  Lucifer, most beautiful of all created beings, turning in treachery against his Creator.  Even Absalom's demise is like what awaits the devil.  "And they took Absalom, and cast him into a great pit in the wood..." (2 Samuel 18:17)  The comparison is easy.

Have you ever paid attention to what the story tells about God?  David the "type" is crushed by the news of His son's death.  Grief seizes Him and 2 Samuel 19:4 says, "But the king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son,  my son!"  In the mean time, the soldiers return expecting a heroes' welcome but instead they hear David wailing in his room.  Joab purveys the situation and tells David that expressing his love for Absalom when the army has just risked their lives for the kingdom is wrong.  For the sake of the beleaguered soldiers and the kingdom he essentially tells David to take it like a man and do the right thing.  "Then the king arose, and sat in the gate.  And they told unto all the people  saying, Behold, the king doth sit in the gate.  And all the people came before the king..." (2 Samuel 19:8)

Do you see it?  Do you see the Archetype, the son of David, at those pearly gates with all the people before Him?  Do you see His face illuminated with the joy of having His children safely home after their battles are over?  Do you also see His hidden sorrow?  Do you see the tears for millions of His lost children stifled inside His tender heart?  Do you see how He restrains Himself because He wants our homecoming to be happy?  When you look at David it is perfectly clear God's heart is joyous yet still breaking while we gaze with wonder at the marvels He has prepared.  But, for our sakes, He takes it like a man and we never see the hidden sorrow.

Oh, I pray that in that beautiful moment when I get to walk in those gates, that by God's grace I will remember my Saviors heart and give Him that "knowing" look that says, "thank You for all you have done, thank You for making this homecoming only joy.  I am sorry about the sorrow you carry."  I pray that His heart and His feelings will be more important to me than the beauties in view whether today or in the great tomorrow.

Imagine

Elijah slept with an angel at his side.  His exhaustion blurred the surprise of being touched by a holy hand, but that guardian angel did not leave his post because Elijah was unmindful.  No, God's mighty warrior watched Elijah like a mother watching her new born baby.

The man of God was cradled in the wilderness...

The elements swaddled him...

The angel sang lullabies...

Can you see it? 

I see it.  I see God and all eternity bending over the windows of heaven to measure Elijah's breathing...

I see Jesus' eyes filling with tears of wonder at the bedraggled man laying in the dirt.  "Poor thing," he says,  "He thinks he is a complete failure.  If he only knew.  He is so strong in his weakness; strong in my strength. Angel, go sooth my tired son." 

"He makes Himself real in the imagination." (DPW)

What else is it for, if not to see Jesus....

Use it today...

Unflinching

The deafening noise stopped.  The prophets of Baal had given all they had and still, no fire.  They were beaten and exhausted.  For hours they had danced and pleaded by their sacrifice.  They cut themselves and pulled their hair out.  They lay prostrate on the altar, as if they were living sacrifices, but to no avail.

Then it was the Lords turn.  Silently Elijah rebuilt God's altar.  There he bowed his head and prayed....

Wait!  Wait just one minute....  He bowed down in front of the Lords altar?

It is reasonable for the prophets of Baal to dance and cut themselves by their altar.  It is even acceptable for them to lay their bleeding bodies down like living sacrifices.  It is O.K. for them to do that because Baal is no god.  He will not answer by fire.  They cannot be burned near Baal's altar.  But the Lord, He is God and Elijah knowing that knelt down right in front of His altar.

Did Elijah stop to think about what God's fire did at Sodom?  Did he forget that the top of Mount Sinai was engulfed by God's fire and the people were terrified?  Maybe he thought the Lord would consume the sacrifice by lighting it with a stick, like was done for Gideon?  I dont know what Elijah thought about the fire, but I do know his main concern was glorifying God.  So quietly, he raised his hands toward heaven and asked the Lord to send fire.  It came.  Like atomic lasers, streams of lightning poured out from heaven eating up the sacrifice, the wood, the altar, the water and the earth underneath it; and all the while it was just inches from Elijah's face, yet he did not flinch!  With arms open toward heaven He trusted the God of the fire to protect him.

I pray for fire...you do too.  We ask God to cleanse our hearts. He does this with fire.  We beg for the wayward to repent.  They do because of the fire.  Every day we ask God to send us fire, but when it comes, we run.  We fear the intensity and turn from the heat.  We shield our eyes from the light and cower in its presence.

What if we simply yielded to the fire starter?  What if we stood in His presence and reveled in the cleansing stream?  What if we were more invested in God's glory than in our safety?  Then fire could rain all around us and we would not flinch.  Like Elijah we could breath deeply of the warmth and bask in its light and stand up after everything is consumed and praise God.

Health, Our High Priest, part four

One of my son's said, "Mom, it cost Jesus something to heal people. Matthew 8:16 shows the healing power of Jesus, "...and healed all that were sick" and verse 17 shows what it cost Him. "Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses."  The word bare means: to lift, to take up.  He not only took our sin but He took our sickness too."

• “Christ alone was able to bear the afflictions of the many. In all their affliction He was afflicted (Isaiah 63:9). He never bore disease in His own flesh but He carried the sickness of others. With tenderest sympathy He looked upon the suffering ones who pressed about Him. He groaned in spirit as He saw the work of Satan revealed in all their woe and He made every case of need and of sorrow His own. No multiplicity of numbers distracted Him, no anguish overwhelmed Him, with a power that never quailed he cast out the evil spirits that possessed mind and body while the pain of the sufferers thrilled through his whole being. The power of love was in all his healing, he identified his interests with suffering humanity…" (That I May Know Him pg. 48)
• "Christ feels the woes of every sufferer, when fever is burning up the life current He feels the agony." DA 823
• "And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years...touched His garment...And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up...And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that virtue had gone out of Him, turned Him about in the press, and said, Who touched my clothes?" (Mark 5:25-30)

Question....  

Is it only sickness relieved by miraculous healing that Jesus bears?

Of course not; reason tells us that "He healeth all thy diseases". (Psalm 103:3)  But do we believe that when the household pandemic, rhinovirus,  steals our rest?  Do we praise God because Jesus feels our suffering when we cant breathe and our joints are throbbing? Are we confident He is bearing our sickness when about to fall asleep and are suddenly choked awake by a coughing fit?  Where is health then?  Is it something we wait for while our white blood cell count returns to normal? 

I propose that Health is with us, feeling the pain of our little annoyance, (because after all a cold is just a small thing).  But He is with us, groaning in spirit as He sees the work sickness reveals in our bodies.  He says, "I am right here, and I will heal you."  Whether in an instant, or over the course of a week, health is a miracle paid for by Christ's sacrifice.  

"Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.  For we have not an high priest which canot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities..."  Hebrews 4:14, 15  

Afterglow, Our High Priest, part three

af-ter-glow

noun

The atmospheric glow that remains for a short time after sunset.

Yes, the wonderful lingering glow of speaking with my daughter yesterday (see Every Page, part two) lighted the night and remains today.  The joy was actually a physical phenomenon.  My chest seemed filled with electricity that wanted to shine out of my skin, just like the apostles walking the Emmaus road, "did not our heart burn within us, while He talked with us by the way?" (Luke 24:32)

Last night, as I bowed my head in gratitude, a question popped into my head. "Do you think God feels the same way when He gets to communicate with you?" 

Wow!  New thought...Does God's heart burn within Him when I spend time communicating with Him?  The logical answer is yes, but, think about it... 

Creator of the universe, King of glory, General of legions of mighty angels responds to me talking with Him by His eyes filling with happy tears and His heart feeling like it will burst with joy.  He rehearses the things I say with the angels around the throne.  And they in turn gather around the "computer screen" watching as the conversation progresses.  And the next day as I wake up, His big heart still carries the embers of our conversation. 

Another new thought...Wouldn't it be great to purposely make God's great heart sing with joy every day? To kindle the cinders in His heart and know that radiant supernova's will spring from His joy?  To watch as the light waves illuminate the darkness in this world. Oh, amazing, that we have power to touch the heart of God!  But it is reasonable, "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with...feeling..." (Hebrews 4:15)

Every Page, (part two)

"God’s holy, educating Spirit is in His word. A light, a new and precious light, shines forth from every page. Truth is there revealed, and words and sentences are made bright and appropriate for the occasion, as the voice of God speaking to the soul." Ellen G White – {COL 132.2}

In my first post entitled Every Page  I shared from my journal, how God uses the Bible to candidly speak to us about our personal lives.  Today, I will share a situation that occurred earlier today.Now, just to let you know how the Lord speaks to my soul, each morning after prayer I write in my journal and unburden my heart before my Father.  Afterwards I go to my regularly scheduled Bible Study.  I ask Him to bring to light what He wishes to communicate to me in the scheduled reading.  This is what happened yesterday.

I should preface this by saying that my daughter is in Southeast Asia. This is her first time away from home.  On her way there communication was sketchy, she ended up having to sleep overnight in the Bankok airport, and once she arrived at her destination we received news she was safe, but not from her.  A couple of days later, we got two cryptic emails from her that there were problems with internet. It was not until 8 days after leaving her at Chicago, Ohare Airport, that I was confident she was safe and that was only when we were able to speak on Face Time.  At that time we made an appointment to speak on Face Time for this morning.

Needless to say: this "Helicopter" Mom was on hyper-alert during the first week she was away and I spoke to God about that this morning.

September 16, 2012
Before I read in the Bible Lord, I thank you for showing me how "hyper-vigilant" I was when I could not be in touch with Nikki...I suspect that I will be put to the test today if she does not call on Face Time.  I ask for a lovely, meek and trusting heart....

I did not even finish the sentence when the Face Time tone rang... Joy filled me at the thought of seeing my little girl on line!  But the connection would not work.  We tried for 30 minutes.  Then she had to stop trying.  I do not know what the "rules" about internet access are where she is, but she could not chat on her email and was only able to send a note saying that we would have to try later and that her heart was sorrowing.  The sound of her heart cry broke my heart...it still does' but I took her tears and my own to the Lord.

Back to my journal:

...So quickly the test came for her and me...The wifi connection failed.  Her email breaks my heart.  Please come very close to her and comfort her.  Especially as she goes to bed.  Let your light fill her room.  I know that in time she will be all right and I thank you for that.

1 Kings 17:18 "And she said unto Elijah, What have I to do with thee, O thou man of God?  Art thou come unto me to call my sin to remembrance, and slay my son?"
This poor woman lost all contact with her child, even though she had been God's obedient servant; but You dear Father restored that connection. I thank you for my daughters small trial, it will strengthen her. Let large and plenteous fruit grow from this experience.  Develop all that is possible from this disappointment and comfort her, just as you have comforted me. Play songs of gratitude in her heart and help her catch the strain of the melodies.
1 Kings 17:19 "And he said unto her, Give me thy son...And he took him out of her bosom.."
This is the only way to get our children "back"; to yield them up to You without reservation.  Please speak to her as clearly as You are speaking to me.  Will you please do that?  Today?  You are a FAther who loves communion with His children...I thank you.  I know you will be with her.
1 Kings 17:21 "O Lord my God, I pray Thee, let this child's soul come into him again."
I pray for Your Holy Spirit to come into her and keep her.  Elijah begged this three times and then the answer came.  I already sense Your comfort through these verses.  Is there more I need to ask for her?
1 Kings 17:24 "Now by this I know that thou art a man of God, and that the word of the Lord in thy mouth is truth."
I ask that through this situation she know that Your words are true, and that she will not only find comfort but a clearer knowledge of Your presence.

Gentle Reader, what is God waiting to communicate with you on Every Page?

We spoke with Nikki at 7:30 pm and all our hearts are filled with filial love.

Reality Check, Our High Priest, part two

"Then Jezebel sent a messenger unto Elijah, saying, So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I make not thy life as the life of one of them by to morrow about this time.  And when he saw that, he arose, and went for his life..." (1 Kings 19: 2,3)

Elijah ran, not because of Jezebel's threat, for she was a beaten foe.  He ran because he was discouraged and beaten in his mind.  Reality said, victory; but Elijah's thoughts said, defeat. And even though Elijah had distorted thinking God sent help.  Not help to bring Elijah back to the battle, rather He sent an angel to sustain Elijah as he ran away from duty.  That seems counter intuitive. But God does not deal in human logic or intuition.  God deals with the heart and Elijah's heart said, danger.

As Elijah ran he prayed, "It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life...." (1 Kings 19:4)
The Bible says, "And the angel of the Lord came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee. And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God." (1Kings 19:7, 8)  God knew that Elijah's feelings were real, He knew the situation was too much for him and he could not see past the danger. So the angel gave him heavenly food that sustained him for forty days and nights  What is interesting is that God did not even try to change Elijah's distorted thinking, instead He spent over six weeks with Elijah strengthening him, blessing him, and loving him.

James 5:17 says "Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are..."  That tells me what I already know, that you and I are both plagued by distorted thinking.  Sometimes in victory our minds say defeat.  But the Lord identifies with our thoughts and feelings, whether real or fiction.  He may not encourge distorted thinking, but He understands it. He yearns to free us from it, but does not condemn us for it, because He is a man and knows what is common to mankind.  "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin."  (Hebrews 4:15)

Holding Hands, Our High Priest, part one

Sometimes the earth is the only comfort left.  You slump down on the ground and cry "Abba, Father, Oh help my battered soul.  Heal my wounded spirit and clean me! Dust is what I am and to this dust I return."

Those are solitary times, and comfort is not found in crowds, friends or loved ones.  If you lay there long enough the sky grows dark, the temperature drops and the dew mingles with your tears.  As your hand clutches another fistful of Earth you are startled to feel flesh, soft and warm flesh.  Then you know that in that night without light, Jesus has been laying in the dirt with you. "He went a little further, and fell on His face, and prayed." (Matthew 26:39)  Oh, the dawn may not rise and the murky night may deepen, but Jesus is right there, for He is not a "High Priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities..." (Hebrews 4:15)  And all through the remaining darkness you hold hands with Comfort.

Side Effects

My husband and son were rough-housing, something they enjoy and I will never understand.  From the other room, I heard laughter then sudden silence.  When I came out to see, Daniel was sitting on the couch holding his thumb.
     "What happened", I asked?
     He said, "I accidentally fell and hurt my thumb."
After a quick assessment I said, "You should go to the emergency room, I think it is broken."

Yes, it was broken. But the healing is progressing nicely and the doctor is optimistic, even though he said this type of fracture does not usually heal without surgery.  We are grateful for the wonderful blessing of modern medicine and God's power.  But...

There are issues with Daniel's treatment. First, there is the lack of mobility. He cannot effectively do his job at work, or tie his shoes etc.  Secondly, he cannot get the cast wet; which demands creative bathing. These inconveniences do not really bother him or us. But there is one problem that is concerning, "cast odor".  Of course, the odor is normal.  Under the cast, skin is still sloughing and sweat is still accumulating, which causes the smell.  Even though it is not a powerful aroma, it is sometimes noticeable on a passing waft of air.  Why is it that healing always has side effects?  Whether its pain, swelling or a musty smell, getting better has it's down side.

In the spiritual realm, getting better also has it's down side. The braces that help us walk on the straight and narrow seem confining. We have to learn to be creative in how we think and speak.  And strong self discipline is needed to deny the cravings of our perverted hearts. But the worst most discouraging side effect of this healing process is that when Jesus exposes the rottenness of our souls, the stench can be nauseating.  And in sadness I have to say, that in my rehab the fetid scent not only affects me, it also permeates the atmosphere around me.  It clings to those I love and even those I don't love. With Paul I cry "O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this (stinking) death?"

But unlike Daniel's orthopedic surgeon, my physician has a solution for the smells of healing and I believe in His cleansing promise: Hosea 14:4-7

"I will heal their backsliding,
     I will love them freely...
I will be as the dew unto Israel:
    He shall grow as the lily, and cast forth his roots as Lebanon.
His branches shall spread and his beauty shall be as the olive tree,
    And his smell as Lebanon.
They that dwell under his shadow shall return;
   They shall revive as the corn, and grow as the vine:
The scent thereof shall be as the wine of Lebanon."
                                                   

Scars, part two

The song says,

"Forgive the hurts our selfishness inflicted
On those we love and those who love us best.
Christ, heal the scars and draw us all together
In Him whose will is peace and joy and rest."

Beautiful.  I love the song and the singers, but the car window was open and through the wind I heard; "Christ, heal the scars that draw us all together"  It was an epiphany or as defined - the manifestation of Christ.

We all do it more often then we wish.  We injure those who are dearest to us and in the delicate fabric of their hearts we leave open wounds.  Their life oozes out and bacteria storms into the bloody canyons.  But I praise God for Christ who is the scar tissue, so to speak.

Both normal skin and scars are made of collagen proteins.  They look different because the proteins are arranged differently.  In normal skin the proteins overlap like a net or mesh.  In scar tissue they are lined up in one direction, like soldiers. Although scars are made up of the same fabric as skin their job description is greater than that of regular skin.  Scars heal wounds.  They narrow the distance between separate parts. And through the mercy of our wonderful Father, Jesus restores the integrity of love.  He narrows the distance between wounded hearts. How can I not love this God; "the repairer of the breach".

A Heart Like Hannah's

"And Hannah prayed and said, My heart rejoiceth in the Lord, mine horn is exalted in the Lord... because I rejoice in thy salvation.  There is none holy as the Lord: for there is none beside thee: neither is there any rock like our God...He will keep the feet of His saints, and the wicked shall be silent in darkness; for by strength shall no man prevail.  The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces; out of heaven shall He thunder upon them; the Lord shall judge the ends of the earth; and He shall give strength unto His king and exalt the horn of His anointed.  And Elkanah went to Ramah to his house. And the child did minister unto the Lord..." 1 Samuel 2:1-11

I sent my daughter, my only daughter, off on God's errand.  While she was still home I asked the Lord to knit my heart like Hannah's.  I asked for the blessing of joy in sorrow, I asked to praise Him as I sent my girl away for a year.

My Girl dreamt of the faraway and beyond.
By God's grace now she is there.

The things that the Lord can do in us are beyond understanding.  My heart was full of thoughts of what He would accomplish in her and through her.   I was so proud of her as she walked through security  with purpose and determination.  She did not look back in longing sorrow.  She went forward answering God's call.  She walked away from us like a warrior on a mission.  She grew between the TSA passport check and the metal detector.  What a beautiful thing to behold in my little girl.  She left us in the strength of the Lord. We watched her go, with praise in our mouths for God's goodness and the salvation of those He will reach through her work.

Songs for Sorrow, part six

I live late in my middle age and have seen enough loss and sorrow.  But the things that are before all of us do not compare with my small measure of grief.  When I look at the past and contemplate the future I know that our only response to the great sorrows about to unfold is to praise the Lord.

"When I heard, my belly trembled;
     My lips quivered at the voice;
Rottenness entered into my bones,
     And I trembled in myself,
That I might rest in the day of trouble...
     Although the fig tree shall not blossom,
Neither shall fruit be in the vines;
     The labour of the olive shall fail,
And the fields shall yield no meat;
     The flock shall be cut off from the fold,
And there shall be no herd in the stalls;
     Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
     The Lord God is my strength,
And He will make my feet like hinds' feet,
     And He will make me to walk upon mine high places."

Habakkuk 3:16-19




Come, Worship the Lord
by John Michael Talbot


Come, worship the Lord
For we are His people
The flock that He shepherds
Hallelujah

Come, let us sing to the Lord
And shout with joy to the Rock Who saves us
Let us come with thanksgiving
And sing joyful songs to the Lord

The Lord is God, the Mighty God
The great King for all the gods
He holds in His hands the depths of the Earth
And the highest mountains as well
He made the sea, it belongs to Him
The dry land too, is formed by His hand

Come, let us bow down and worship
Bending the knee for the Lord our Maker
For we are His people
We are the flock that He shepherds

Songs for Sorrow, part five

"When the waves of death compassed me,

     the floods of ungodly men made me afraid; 

the sorrows of hell compassed me about;

     the snares of death prevented me;

In my distress I called upon the Lord,

     and cried to my God:

And He did hear my voice out of His temple,

     and my cry did enter into His ears."

2 Samuel 22:5-7

 My Shepherd by Michael Card
 The Lord is my Shepherd
And so I lack nothing
 In meadows of green grass He lets me lie down
 Beside the still waters He patiently leads me
Restoring my soul,
For His holy Namesake
He guides me by right paths
Though I may stray to The veil of deep darkness
 I fear no evil For You are there with me
Beside me Your rod and staff
They comfort me

 You prepare a table
Before my enemies
My head you've anointed
My cup's overflowing
Your goodness and mercy
Will follow me all the days of my life
And I'll make my home place
In the house of the Lord
And I'll make my home place
In the house of the Lord

Songs for Sorrow, part four

It is inevitable that our paths will lead into darkness.  "Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted..." (Matthew 4:1)  When walking in darkness it is crucial to only take one step at a time.





Lead Kindly Light
lyrics by John Henry Newman


Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom!
The night is dark, and I am far from home; lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou shouldst lead me on;
I loved to choose and see my path; but now lead Thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,
Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years!

So long Thy power hath blest me, sure it still will lead me on.
O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till the night is gone,
And with the morn those angel faces smile, which I
Have loved long since, and lost awhile!

Songs for Sorrow, part three

Sometimes we get confused in the dark places. We loose our way and can even forget who we are.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to have the confidence of Job.  To be sure of our Father and His love for us even in sorrow.  "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him..." Job 19:26




Oh Father of Jesus
by Michael Card


Hold me now, Oh, Father of Jesus
Sheltered, safe, asleep in your arms
No other place can promise protection
A fortress from pain and a haven from harm

Hold me now, Oh, Father of Jesus
Sometimes I fear the dark of the night
Your kindness kindles the stars in the heavens
Your love is the reason the moon gives us light

Just You and I, and one holy moment
Together if I have eyes that can see
Open my ears that I might hear You whisper
Of Your tender longing for me

Now I know, Oh Father of Jesus
My hope lies in belonging to You
Never again will I live like a stranger
My heart understands now that You’re my Father too.

Songs for Sorrow, part two

"When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rives, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.  For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Savior...Thou wast precious in My sight...and I have loved thee...Fear not: for I am with thee."

Sometimes circumstance or God leads us through fiery trials.  What can we do.  Hide?  Run?  Desert our post?  No, God Has promised He is in the fire.  "And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a flame of fire." (Exodus 3:2) In the pain and sorrow of trial, our loving Savior slowly leads us through to safety.




Through
by The Gaithers


When I saw what lay before me, Lord, I cried what will you do?
I thought He would just remove it. But He gently led me through
Without fire there's no refining, without pain no relief,
Without flood there's no rescue, without testing no belief.
Through the fire, through the flood, through the water, through the blood
Through the dry and barren places, through life's dense and maddening mazes
Through the pain and through the Glory through it all
we'll tell the story of the God whose power and mercy
will not fail to take us through

Songs for Sorrow, part one

What can be done when the one you love best says,
     "Throw away the gifts I have given you.  Give up some of the little joys that brought comfort to your heart."

I suspect there is only one response.
     "Lo, we have left all, and have followed thee." (Mark 10:28)

At those moments, the human heart is tempted to be like Peter and allow self pity to walk beside our obedience. But I am grateful our Father understands.  As He purges us from the things that hinder our devotion to Him, He is tender.  He holds us while we mourn and leads us into a deeper love for Him.





Mourning the Death of a Dream
by Michael Card


Cool morning shadows sadly shift across the floor
Each time we say goodbye it's harder than before
Even after all the pain of parting still we find
That we must mourn the death of the dreams we leave behind
As I turn my back on all that means the most to me
The sounds and smells, the light that dances on the sea
The greatest gamble is to act on the belief
That only the slave who leaves it all is truly free

The sacrifice that we both lay before His feet
A thousand moments that belonged to us
That now will never be

By faith we hold a better dream inside our hearts
A time when our family will never have to be apart
Till then we struggle with just what it really means
And we will mourn the death of our beautif

The Waters (part five)

It had not rained since we moved here to Michigan.  Hot and dry for weeks, the grass had died.  But as I left work and began walking home, it rained.  It poured!  The thunder clouds shone and sang their terrible songs.  The people in the street scurried for shelter, but I slowed my stride.

The rain bathed me.  The drops on my face mingled with my own.  And in the midst of that storm the Lord came and promised He understood.  In the midst of the flood He was there.  "Thou tellest my wanderings: put Thou my tears into Thy bottle: are they not in Thy book?"  Psalms 56:8

Having to move, leaving home and comfort has cost our family much.  But we can praise Him because, "If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, Thou art there, If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall Thy hand lead me, and Thy right hand shall hold me.  If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea the darkness hideth not from Thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee"  Psalms 139: 8-12

Darkness or light; mountains or valley's; rain or shine all are alike to our Father. No thing unsettles Him.  No problem overwhelms Him.  He is constant.  And He is constant with us. Even in dark water He is there with us. "And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters."  (Genesis 1:2)  He moves the water, moving waters are waves. The Lord in His goodness creates waves of mercy during our sorrow.  They bathe us in His love.  They buoy us and keep us from drowning.

The Waters (part four)

"...without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.  And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters." Genesis 1:2

Nothing,  there was nothing worth claiming. Nothing worth keeping in that dark and magled mess of planet.  But the Spirit moved.  God came and parted the waters. He put some above and some below. He separated the dark water again and set it all in one place, causing the land to appear.  He then filled the water with teaming life.

That is the journey of a soul, the journey of my soul.  Disorder, emptiness, darkness these are the characteristics in my heart.  But the Lord separates darkness. He divides it in half, He pools it all into one place.  Then he fills the uninhabitable void with life.  And I wait for the day, when "...the first heaven and the first earth (are) passed away; and there (will be) no more sea." Revelation 21:1

The Waters (part three)

There are times darkness floods, like Noah's water, "the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened."(Genesis 7:11)  The darkness raises up from inside and falls down from circumstances.  It surrounds, there is no escaping.

In those moments there is nothing to do but yield.  Surrendering in hope to Christ is the only recourse.
  
"I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the Lord, and He heard me; out of the belly of hell cried I, and   Thou heardest my voice.  For thou hadst cast me into the deep in the midst of the seas; and the floods compassed me about; all Thy billows and Thy waves passed over me.  Then I said, I am cast out of Thy sight; yet I will look again toward Thy holy temple.  The waters compassed me about, even to the soul; the depth closed me round about, the weeds were wrapped about my head.  I went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the earth with her bars was about me for ever: yet hast Thou brought up my life from corruption."

"O Lord my God.  When my soul fainted within me I remembered the Lord: and my prayer came in unto Thee, into thine holy temple...I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay that that I have vowed.  Salvation is of the Lord." Jonah 2:2-9

The Waters (part two)

The wind on the sea produces enormous waves which crash and bounce on the shore.  It is a majestic sight, but the wind on the sea is troublesome.  It churns up the sand, and flying sand stings.

"...the Lord caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided.  And the children of Israel went into the midst of the sea upon the dry ground: and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left."  Ex 14:21, 22

I imagine Israel wedged between the sea and the pillar caught in a wind storm. Not an ordinary storm but a supernatural one coming from the east, right at them. All night they were pummeled by the sand.  It got into their tents. It covered their clothing, their bedding and their hair.  It scratched their eyes and added grit to their food. Moses said, "Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will shew to you today..." (Exodus 14:13)  In that situation most of us would resent the storm and complain, "Just when things were hopeless, they got worse." But that sand that peeled their skin was needed.  Yes, it blasted them, and yes it weighed down their caravan as they traversed the ocean floor with pounds of sand tucked in their baggage, but the sand prepared the way for salvation.

Trials that sting; sins we shake out of our hair only to find more tomorrow.  These are all precious reminders that the Lord is preparing for our deliverance. Let the wind fly on the sea, it is there we discover salvation.  "...they shall offer sacrifices of righteousness: for they shall suck of the abundance of the seas, and of treasures hid in the sand." (Deuteronomy 33:19)

The Waters (part one)

"Teaming with life..."  He said it was teaming with life.

Although inanimate it breathes.  Inhale.  Exhale.  Rhythmically it's bellows swell and deflate.  Without a mind it has moods: peaceful, playful, or angry.  It tricks you, it soothes you, it grabs your ankles and pulls.  The ocean is wild, it acts like a living thing.

In all of its phases the ocean reflects God's waves of mercy.  They may be small and subtile; just lapping at your toes.  They can be giants rushing miles into shore, completely changing the landscape as they go.  Or they can be surprising, catching you off guard; soaking you from head to toe.  Waves of mercy... Thank God they keep coming.

But the ocean as powerful as it is cannot go past its determined limits, "He hath compassed the waters with bound..." (Job 26:10)  Ellen White says,  "A homeless wanderer, reproach and penury His daily lot, He lived to minister to the needs and lighten the woes of men, to plead with them to accept the gift of life.  The waves of mercy, beaten back by those stubborn hearts, returned in a stronger tide of pitying, inexpressible love.  But Israel had turned from her best Friend and only Helper.  The pleadings of His love had been despised, His counsels spurned, His warnings ridiculed." (GC 20)

Israel was unmoved by the tide of God's love.  Heaven forbid it happen to us.  Are we embracing the daily waves of mercy?  They come as blessings and rebukes.  They gladden our hearts and cross our flesh.  Oh, they come and continue to come, but "He hath compassed the waters with bound."  As great as the wave may be it cannot go past the stoic heart.  Waves of mercy only affect change where they are accepted.

Texting (part one)

Every Page

"God’s holy, educating Spirit is in His word. A light, a new and precious light, shines forth from every page. Truth is there revealed, and words and sentences are made bright and appropriate for the occasion, as the voice of God speaking to the soul." Ellen G White – {COL 132.2}

"As the voice of God speaking to the soul..."  It is amazing that the King would speak personally to our hearts! He speaks great and marvelous themes, but He also speaks personally intimate ones too. "Words and sentences are made bright and appropriate for the occasion." I have seen Him do this. There have been times I have humbly read His word and had a burden on my heart and He relieves it by bringing to light things in the text I had never noticed before. He has made me recognize that every time I read His text there are personal and specific blessings in store for me. Because I want you to believe that the King is willing to text you about specific needs in your life I will share some of my experiences with God texting me.

Each morning after prayer I write in my journal and unburden my heart before my Father. Afterwards I go to my regularly scheduled Bible study. Here is an excerpt from a few weeks ago... I hope you will bring your burdens to Him and read the Bible looking for his personal texts to you.

June 14, 2012

A day of lasts. The last time I wake up in this house, the last time I walk through my garden, the last time I see the beautiful view out the window. What is in my heart this morning that I want to give to you Father? I guess it is mostly that I am surprised that you are interested in these last moments. That you want to walk through them with me. This is what I pray for that You walk with us and be noticeable to our dull senses.  We are pilgrims. This is a journey....

Please help us find the right place to live. Can you make finding a rental house easy? Should we even rent?  Are there other options?

2 Sam 7
V7 ...I have walked with all the children of Israel...

V10 Moreover I will appoint a place for my people Israel, and will plant them, that they may dwell in a place of their own, and move no more; 

V11 ...Also the LORD telleth thee that he will make thee an house.

Thank you for speaking with me. Please give me awe and reverence. Help me not be tricking myself that it is really You texting me. When I realize I am in your presence and You are really engaged in communing with me all my other requests grow dim besides this one, I pray that You save my children.

V 12 I will set up thy seed after thee, which shall proceed out of thy bowels, and I will establish his kingdom.

V15 But my mercy shall not depart away from him.

This is happiness in my heart, you are faithful, your mercy endureth forever. I can only respond to You as did David,

V18 Who am I, O Lord, and what is my house that thou hast brought me hither to?

I will depend on you. We are not worthy of your goodness, but you are a mighty God, whose name is love.

Racham. Plural (part 2)

For forty weeks and 24/7, love bathed each of my babies.  My lungs breathed so they didn't need to.  My heart beat to give them blood.  I ate things they were unable to digest.  Every cell in me; every thought, every feeling centered around the growing fetus.  I talked to it.  I sang to it. I prayed for it.  I lived my life for it.  A mothers love for her unborn baby is tender and deep.  I believe there may be no words on the planet to express it, yet in Hebrew God multiplies racham to denote that kind of love.  It is defined as "compassion (in the plural); by extension the womb (as cherishing the fetus)..."

Lamentations 3:22 says, "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions (racham) fail not."  God loves us with the same tender compassionate care that mothers have for their babies.  He breathed life into us.  His heart pumped blood to save us.  He drank the bitter cup because we could not do it and survive.  He speaks to us..."And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying,  This is the way, walk ye it in.." Isaiah 30:21.  He sings to us..."The Lord thy God...will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in His love He will joy over thee with singing."  Zephaniah 3:17  He prays for us..."I pray for them...which Thou hast given me."  John 17:9  He died and lives for us..."For in Him we live, and move, and have our being...for we are also His offspring."  Acts 17:28

There are no words in the universe to describe God's love for us,  it is racham multiplied by omnipotence!

Racham Singular (part 1)

Your father did it as did mine.  He stood over your infant bed and wondered at the miraculous gift he was given.  Inevitably with the back of a finger he fondled your soft cheek.  I have seen my husband do this and it would seem that his rough hands could bruise the tender skin, but they never did.  His touch, full of love and compassion, ran like water over a smooth surface.

That picture expresses God's tender compassion toward all His children.  The Bible says, "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him."  Psalm 103:13.  The word pitieth in Hebrew is racham.  It means "to fondle; by implication to love, especially to compassionate..."  Because He is our Father, the Lord watches over us and marvels at the wonderful gift He has in us.  He fondles us with oceans of love and compassion.  In our infantile ignorance we do not recognize the touch, still it changes us.  We are surrounded by it; buoyed up by it, and it makes us live.

Take Up My Cause

Take up my cause and fight for me, Lord,

For I cannot wage this war.

See all the evil that hinders me,

And beats me down to the floor.

Strike with your mighty fists a blow,

Deliver my soul from disgrace.

Give me a faith that trusts in You,

And let me see Your face.

Take up my cause and fight for me, Lord,

Redeem me through Your prayers.

Plead my case, before Your throne

And drive out all my fears.

Fall upon enemies of my heart;

Drive them out to the sea.

Give me Your hand and lift me up,

And save me eternally.

Take up my cause and fight for me, Lord,

Starve out the sin in me.

Rend every thought that feeds my crime,

And teach me to be free.

Help Thou the unbelief in me,

Sustain Your peace in my heart.

Give me respite from the torments within,

And command the evil depart.

Take up my cause and fight for me, Lord,

For victory I plead.

Create a new heart within me, Lord

And this will be all I need.

Faith and Repentance

Faith and repentance must always be linked; when divorced neither remains.

Faith cannot be realized unless it's recipient is worthy of the trust.  We cannot trust a god who is less than holy and perfect.   Being in the presence of Holiness and Perfection highlights our sinfulness and yields repentance.

Repentance without faith is only shame.  Unless there is hope of healing, the sting of guilt and the sorrow for sin remains a galling weight.  True repentance highlights the forgiving character of the injured and yields faith.

"Whoever under the reproof of God will humble the soul with confession and repentance, as did David, may be sure that there is hope for him.  Whoever will in faith accept God's promises, will find pardon." P&P 9726.5)

The 1:05 to New York City

The loud woman is obviously on strong medication, her face is swollen with side effects.  At the gate she complains, "that other bus driver kicked me off the bus because I wanted to find a seat belt.  How was I supposed to know there are no seat belts on buses?"  Pulling her weight up the stairs she hitches her hand on her hip and jerks her head as she confesses to the young man in the front seat that she has motion sickness and would like to sit in the front as she expects to vomit.  Politely the young man gets up and answers, "I'll leave you to yourself.  I'll go find a seat somewhere else." All the way to Springfield she initiates conversation with others.  Her percussive laugh erupts into rapid fire at the end of all her comments. Her gestures are wide and sweeping. The tide of their strength shakes her shirt off her shoulder and unveils a huge American eagle tattoo. Her bra strap looks like a noose around the birds neck. This volatile woman scares me.

 At the transfer we get a new bus and a new driver.  He is tall, and has an almost military haircut.  His broad face and high cheek bones suggest strength and determination.  His gait is steady, long and slow. When he gives boarding instructions his well spoken English is carried on a Russian accented baritone.  I wonder to myself, "How will this former communist react to this wild woman." It seems to me they are type and antitype.  She is the embodiment of all the excesses of American life; too much food, too much medication, too few inhibitions; while he could be a walking poster child for the KGB.  He seems like a no nonsense, well disciplined party member.  His uniform easily adds to the illusion.

At first the loud woman continues her compulsive talking but after a little while she is subdued. I watch her studying the driver. A few blocks out of the station she turns to a college student and says, "Excuse me, can you stop talking so loudly on the phone I am going to take a nap." It is an ironic request, but the girl condescends. Then the Yuri Gagarin look alike picks up the overhead microphone and instructs, "All passengers are requested to refrain from cell phone use unless it is an emergency."  The Russian expatriot is now in league  with the American extraviganza. A strange turn of events! The loud woman now rises to her glory.  She is almost giddy.  Her stories are heady with laughter although they expose one tragedy after another.  The Russian listens and rarely comments, yet he seems genuinely interested.  I wonder if this is part of his special forces training.  Does Peter Pan bus lines have an  in-service titled "How to 
de-escalate loud, overly medicated women"?

As the hours pass the driver never changes, he is just as interested as in the beginning.  The loud woman talks, tells horrible stories from her past and laughs inappropriately.  Oddly enough I imagine the woman is starting to follow the drivers cadence - steady, long and slow.  Her volatile eruptions lessen, then become sporatic and finally the loud woman goes to sleep.  Peace and quiet reign.

The communist's regime was wise. He connected with the woman's heart and showed consistent concern for her until her wild dervishes slowed and she began following his march.  This was a gospel "snippet".  One of those interesting life moments that clarify how God works in our lives.  In God's bus we are the loud lady. Yet He stays by our side, never even hinting at the fact that we are an embarrassment. He listens interestedly and unperceptively in His audience we are changed; the riot gives way to peace.

The Carpenter's Hands, Fingerprints part 3

Mark 6:3 "Is not this the carpenter..."

A carpenter never has soft hands.  Sandpaper, saw dust and splinters leave His skin calloused and thick.  Tender embraces given by those hands will always scratch a face.  He was a carpenter, yet His touch never leaves scars.  It does hurt as He polishes our hearts.  But the pain comes from our resistance not from His hands.  After His work is done the heart gleams, and everywhere there are little circular patterns.  Like wheels within wheels, His fingerprints, stamped in our soul are our eternity.

The Potter, Fingerprints part 2

Jeremiah 18:6 "Behold as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in Mine hand, O house of Israel"

As a potter works, the clay, like a second skin, covers his hands.  The film is so thin that all the little hairs on the back of his fingers are coated.  The tiny particles get caught under his nails and in between the ridges of wrinkles.  If he touches something the fine dust leaves red fingerprints behind.  When finishing a long day at work the potter has red hands.

When He cried, "It is finished..." my potter too had red hands.  His skin was covered with His own blood.  The little hairs on the back of His fingers were completely coated.  His nails were red, and the nails were red.  And as He touches me and reshapes me, thank God, He leaves behind blood stained fingerprints.  Those fingerprints are my salvation.

The Sculpter, Fingerprints part 1

Genesis 2:7 "And God formed man..."  The Hebrew word yatsar, formed, means "to press.  Through squeezing into shapes."

See Him, knees bent on the soft sod, resting all His weight on one hand as He works with the other.  He is totally absorbed in the task.  Already He has finished the inward parts.  The sturdy bone and soft sinew have been shaped.  Hollow organs were carefully rolled between His fingers and then gently laid in their places.  Now He is working on the eyes.  They are the most critical part.  As He leans in to inspect the eyebrows, His chin brushes against the molded nose and red clay stains His jaw.

Finished He inspects His work.  He checks every cell.  The lines are symmetrical and the curves balanced.  But before He can call it good He checks for one last thing.  Yes, they are there! Fingerprints.  His fingerprints are stamped on the man's bones and skin: in his brain and on his face.  The fingerprints of God, they were our beginning and they are our destiny.